Unspoken Affection: The Poetry of Unrequited Love

Poems about unrequited love express the anguish of longing. When love is not returned, they disclose their deepest emotions. These poems speak to anyone who has loved without being loved back. 

Such poetry expresses grief and yearning with simple words. They frequently address issues of rejection and heartache. The beauty is in the honest, unedited sentiments they portray. 

What Is Unrequited Love?

Unrequited love is when one person's profound affection or love for another is not returned. It's the kind of love that lurks, unnoticed, leaving the recipient to deal with a particular and terrible pain. Unrequited love is a state of unsatisfied longing and desire, unlike mutual love.

This love can be intense and all-consuming. Love typically involves deep emotions like hope and sadness as the lover yearns for something that may never be. The individual experiencing unrequited love may hope that their lover will return their sentiments, but they are generally disappointed. Unrequited love might be a crush on a buddy who doesn't feel the same, romantic sentiments for someone in a relationship, or an attachment to a distant or unattainable figure.

Top 10 Great Unrequited Love Poems

Poetry has long explored unrequited love's intricacies. Poetry from all times and civilizations has explored the sorrow, beauty, and contradiction of loving someone who cannot love back. Ten unforgettable rejected love poems reflect this melancholy experience:
 

1. "When You Are Old" by W.B. Yeats

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read and dream of the soft look.
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
 
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love, false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
 
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead.
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

 2. "La Belle Dame sans Merci" by John Keats

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has withered from the lake.
And no birds sing.
 
O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full.
And the harvest’s done.
 
I see a lily on your brow.
With anguish moist and fever-dew,
And on your cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too.
 
I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful—a fairy’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.
 
I made a garland for her head.
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She looked at me as she did love.
And made a sweet moan.
 
I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend and sing?
A fairy’s song.
 
She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna-dew,
And sure, in language strange she said—
“I love you true.”
 
She took me to her elfin grotto.
And there she wept and sighed full sore.
And there I shut her wild wild eyes.
With kisses four.
 
And there she lulled me asleep.
And there I dreamed—Ah! woe betide!—
The latest dream I ever dreamed
On the cold hillside.
 
I saw pale kings and princes too.
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—“La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall?”
 
I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With the horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke and found me here.
On the cold hill’s side.
 
And this is why I sojourned here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is withered from the lake,
And no birds sing. 

3. "The More Loving One" by W.H. Auden

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth, indifference is the least
We have to dread man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn?
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
 
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
 
Were all stars to disappear or die?
I should learn to look at an empty sky.
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

4. "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron

She walks in beauty, like the night.
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
 
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
 
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

5. "The Look" by Sara Teasdale

Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me.
And never kissed at all.
 
Strephon’s kiss was lost in jest.
Robin’s lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin’s eyes
Haunts me night and day.

6. "Unrequited Love" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

There are stories of lost love in ancient books,
Of poets who sighed in sweet despair,
Yet none knew the depth of my heart’s nook,
Or the sorrows I alone must bear.
 
You see, I loved him beyond reason.
In every season, near and far,
But he, aloof, saw not my treason,
That love unreturned leaves a scar.

7. "Love’s Secret" by William Blake

Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind does move
Silently, invisibly.
 
I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears—
Ah! She did depart!
 
Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveler came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.

8. "I Am Not Yours" by Sara Teasdale

I am not yours, not lost in you.
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
 
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who longs to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
 
Oh, plunge me deep in love—put out
My senses leave me deaf and blind.
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.

9. "Annabel Lee" by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought.
Than to love and be loved by me.
 
I was a child, and she was a child.
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wings of heaven
Coveted her and me.
 
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
 
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
 
But our love was stronger by far than the love.
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea.
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul?
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
 
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams.
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes.
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night, I lie down by the side.
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulcher there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

10. "Sonnet 29" by William Shakespeare

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts, almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered, such wealth brings
That then I scorned to change my state with kings.

Why Do We Fall for Those Who Don’t Love Us Back?

The issue of unrequited love poses numerous problems, the most important of which is: why do we fall for someone who does not love us back? Several psychological theories seek to explain this. 

One theory is based on the idea of attachment style. People with anxious attachment styles may be more likely to experience unrequited love because they seek out partners who are emotionally unavailable or aloof. This leads to a cycle of craving and rejection that is difficult to overcome. 

Another reason is the scarcity principle in psychology, which states that we appreciate things more when they are uncommon or difficult to obtain. Someone who is unavailable or unattainable may appear to be more appealing. This can lead to an idealization of the person, in which the unrequited lover sees only the good in their beloved and often ignores defects or red signals.

How to Cope with Unrequited Love?

Coping with unrequited love can be difficult, but it is possible to make progress and find serenity. Here are some helpful strategies:
1. Acknowledge your feelings: It's critical to acknowledge and validate your emotions. Denying or suppressing your emotions might prolong the agony and make it more difficult to heal.
2. Set Boundaries: If feasible, detach yourself from the person you love in order to allow yourself time to heal. This could include minimizing contact, unfollowing them on social media, or avoiding places where you could run into them.
3. Focus on Self-Love: Spend time and energy on yourself. Engage in activities that make you happy and fulfilled, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you get through this difficult time.
4. Seek Professional Help: If you are having difficulty moving on, talk to a therapist. They can provide you tools and techniques for dealing with unrequited love and addressing the underlying issues that may be causing your sentiments. 
5. Let go of unrealistic expectations: It's easy to get caught up in illusions about what may be, but it's crucial to remember that they're just that: fantasies. Letting up of unreasonable expectations can help you focus on the facts and begin the process of moving on.

Final Takeaway 

Unrequited love is personal, tragic, and universal. It has inspired some of the most moving poetry in history, bringing insight and comfort to people in one-sided love. Unrequited love can be overpowering, but it also shows the heart's strength and perseverance. 

Unrequited love teaches us about ourselves and love. It forces us to face our fears, desires, and expectations, which might improve our self-awareness and growth. Poets who have felt comparable emotions might help us understand that we are not alone and that even unreturned love is beautiful.