Is My Husband a Narcissist: 20 Important Questions to Find Out

If you're questioning whether your husband is a narcissist, you're probably already confused, exhausted, and uncertain about your own perceptions. Living with narcissistic behavior creates a fog that makes it hard to trust your instincts. You might wonder if you're being too sensitive or too demanding or if the problems in your marriage are somehow your fault. 

I want you to know that asking these questions doesn't make you a bad wife. In fact, recognizing patterns that hurt you is an important step toward protecting your well-being. This "Is My Husband a Narcissist Quiz" will help you identify whether the behaviors you're experiencing align with narcissistic traits. While this quiz isn't a professional diagnosis, it can provide clarity about what you're dealing with and help you decide what to do next. 

Understanding Narcissism in Marriage

Before taking the quiz, it helps to understand what narcissism actually means in a relationship context. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a clinical diagnosis that involves an inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration. However, not everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD. Some people display narcissistic behaviors without meeting the full criteria for diagnosis. 

In marriage, narcissistic behavior manifests in specific ways. Your husband might make everything about himself, dismiss your feelings, manipulate situations to avoid accountability, or use your vulnerabilities against you. Furthermore, he probably presents a charming face to the outside world while treating you very differently in private. This disconnect between his public persona and private behavior often leaves you feeling isolated and doubting yourself. 

Narcissistic husbands typically resist taking responsibility for their actions. Instead, they blame you, make excuses, or twist situations to make you question your memory or perception. This manipulation, often called gaslighting, is one of the most damaging aspects of living with narcissistic behavior. 

How to Take This Quiz?

Answer each question honestly, based on your husband's consistent patterns, not isolated incidents. Everyone has bad days or moments of selfishness. Therefore, focus on behaviors that happen regularly, not occasional slip-ups. Be truthful with yourself even if the answers are painful to acknowledge.

Simply count how many questions you answer "yes" to, then check the scoring guide at the end. Remember that the quiz helps you recognize patterns, but it doesn't replace professional evaluation. If you're concerned about your mental health or safety, please reach out to a therapist or counselor who can provide personalized support. 

The Quiz: Answer Yes or No to Each Question

1. Does your husband expect constant praise and admiration for ordinary things?
2. Does he become angry or withdrawn when he doesn't get the attention he feels he deserves?
3. Does your husband dismiss or minimize your feelings when you express hurt or concern?
4. Does he refuse to apologise genuinely, or does he make apologies that blame you for his behavior?
5. Does your husband twist your words or events to make you doubt your own memory?
6. Does he act charming and likable to others but treat you with disrespect in private?
7. Does your husband make important decisions without considering your input or feelings?
8. Does he use your insecurities or past mistakes against you during arguments?
9. Does your husband lack empathy when you're going through difficult times?
10. Does he become angry or defensive when you try to discuss relationship problems?
11. Does your husband expect you to cater to his needs while ignoring or dismissing yours?
12. Does he take credit for your accomplishments or minimize your successes?
13. Does your husband punish you with silent treatment? withdrawal, or other emotional manipulation?
14. Does he make you feel like you're walking on eggshells to avoid triggering his anger?
15. Does your husband refuse to take responsibility for problems in your marriage?
16. Does he isolate you from your friends or family, either directly or through manipulation?
17. Does your husband make you feel guilty for having needs or wanting support?
18. Does he compare you unfavorably to other people to make you feel inadequate?
19. Does your husband's mood dictate the entire household's atmosphere?
20. Does he make you question your sanity, memory, or perception of events?

How to Score Your Results?

Count the total number of questions you answered "yes" to. Be honest with yourself during this entire process. If you found yourself hesitating on certain questions because you weren't sure or because the answer felt too painful, that uncertainty itself might be telling you something important.

Once you have your total, move to the next section to understand what your score means and what steps you might consider taking next.

Understanding Your Results

0 to 5 Yes Answers: Low Likelihood of Narcissistic Traits

If you answered yes to five or fewer questions, your husband likely doesn't exhibit significant narcissistic patterns. Nevertheless, every relationship has areas that need work. The behaviors you identified might stem from poor communication skills, stress, or other issues that couples therapy could address. Consider having open conversations about the specific concerns that brought you to this quiz.

6 to 10 Yes Answers: Some Narcissistic Behaviors Present

Answering yes to six to ten questions suggests your husband displays some narcissistic traits, though he may not have a full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. These behaviors can still significantly impact your well-being and marriage satisfaction. Consequently, it's important to address these problems before they become more entrenched.

At this level, change is possible if your husband recognizes his behaviors and commits to working on them. However, this requires his willingness to accept feedback and engage in therapy or personal growth. If he dismisses your concerns or refuses to acknowledge problematic behaviors, the situation may worsen over time. 

11 to 15 Yes Answers: Strong Narcissistic Tendencies

If you answered yes to eleven to fifteen questions, your husband exhibits strong narcissistic tendencies that are likely causing you significant emotional distress. Living with this level of narcissistic behavior takes a serious toll on your mental health, self-esteem, and sense of reality. 

At this point, professional help becomes essential. Individual therapy for yourself is also crucial because living with a partner with narcissistic behavior often leaves you questioning your perceptions and losing touch with your own needs. Additionally, couples therapy might help if your husband is willing to participate genuinely, though many people with strong narcissistic traits resist therapy or use it as another platform for manipulation. 

16 to 20 Yes Answers: Very High Likelihood of Narcissistic Personality 

Answering yes to sixteen or more questions indicates that your husband displays pervasive narcissistic patterns that align closely with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This level of narcissistic behavior is extremely damaging to your mental health and well-being. Furthermore, relationships with individuals who score this high rarely improve without intensive professional intervention, and even then, change is difficult and uncommon.

If you find yourself in this category, your priority should be protecting yourself. This might mean setting firm boundaries, seeking individual therapy, consulting with a lawyer about your options, or developing a safety plan if you decide to leave. Consequently, reach out to trusted friends, family, or domestic abuse resources for support. At the end of the day. You deserve to feel safe and valued in your relationship. 

What to Do Next?

After taking this "Is My Husband a Narcissist Quiz," you probably have a clearer picture of your situation. However, clarity doesn't always make the path forward easy. What you do next depends on your specific circumstances, resources, and what you're willing and able to tolerate. 

If your husband scored in the lower ranges, consider having honest conversations about specific behaviors that concern you. Use concrete examples rather than labels like "narcissist." Focus on how certain actions make you feel and what changes would help you feel more secure in your marriage. 

For moderate to high scores, individual therapy becomes a necessity. A therapist can help you process your experiences, rebuild your self-esteem, and develop strategies for setting boundaries or leaving if necessary. Moreover, therapy provides validation that your perceptions are real, which is important after living with a partner who gaslit and manipulated you on a daily basis.

Document patterns you observe, especially if you're considering separation or divorce. Narcissistic individuals often become vengeful when they begin to lose control. So, having a record of concerning behaviors can protect you legally and emotionally. You need to start building or rebuilding your support network. Narcissistic partners often isolate their spouses, so reconnecting with friends and family creates a vital safety net. 

Creating a Plan for Healing and Safety

Educate yourself about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Understanding these patterns helps you recognize that you're not crazy, overly sensitive, or at fault for the relationship problems. Many resources exist, including books, support groups, and online communities of people who understand what you're experiencing. 

If you're feeling trapped because of finances, children, or other practical concerns, start planning quietly. This might involve opening your own bank account, consulting with a lawyer confidentially, or researching housing options. Taking small steps toward independence can feel empowering even if you're not ready to leave immediately. 

Remember that staying or leaving are both valid choices depending on your situation. Only you can decide what's truly right for you. But staying should involve clear boundaries and ongoing therapy to help you cope with the relationship dynamics. Never stay because you believe you can change your husband. Change must come from his own recognition and commitment, which is rare in cases of true narcissism.

Your well-being matters. Taking this "Is My Husband a Narcissist Quiz" shows you're paying attention to your instincts and taking your concerns seriously. Trust yourself. If something feels wrong in your marriage, it probably is. You deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, empathy, and genuine partnership. Whether you find that by working through issues with your current husband or by choosing to leave, prioritizing your mental health and happiness is always the right decision!

Conclusion

Taking this quiz wasn’t about labeling your husband — it was about honoring your truth. If something feels wrong, trust your instincts. You deserve love built on respect, empathy, and emotional safety. Whether you choose to heal within the relationship or move forward on your own, know that protecting your well-being is never selfish — it’s essential.

Your clarity is the first step toward reclaiming your peace.